Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined a pair of pants that I would refer to as “perfect”. When I first saw these jeans on the Life Files website, I almost crapped my pants. It’s a good thing I didn’t because my jeans are so tight now that nothing would be able to escape. More after the jump…Psyche! I just wanted to say “more after the jump”.

Notice how the calves are so tight that you’d think someone made a pair of jeans out of a blood pressure taking device. The top part sags just right as to confuse onlookers as to whether or not they’re loose or tight. Sheer genius. If that wasn’t enough, there’s suspenders that you could probably swap out with a pair of neon pink, polka dot ones to go with a corny Spike Lee wannabee biker’s cap.

I really hope this has Lycra in it because I’m running out right now to get a pair in a size -13

To make it a little easier to get your TTS fix, you can now get here by going to thetightsag.com or just tightsag.com. The wordpress url will still work but now you have three sizes to choose from just like your favorite pair of limited Japanese selvage!

Found this flick over at globalgrind.com under the heading of “Will Somebody Stop This Madness?”

This is the perfect example of how a tight sag should be done. First of all, you’ve gotta have a belt and if it’s so tight that it starts to flip that’s even better. A tight, short hoody also works well especially if you have tight, colored underwear crammed into your ass crack. That technique makes your tight sag pop and lets the world know that GAP Kids is the new spot to cop heat.

April Fools.

Wesstsag! Why do the rapping tigh saggers always come in twos? Maybe they need one to hold the jeans while the other jumps from a high place into them.

U-N-I represent the west coast–actually the place I hear that started the nut groping denim trend. Do you think Tupac would be wearing a tight sag if he were still here? That’s an argument for another post.

Let’s get down to business and analyze the saggage of U-N-I.

The guy with the red hat and Arnold Jackson vest loses since his jeans are way too baggy. What are you a male or something? Now the dude with the afro-hawk, he knows how to tight sag. The seat of his jeans go up so high that he could jump over a pole taller than him and clear it like it’s nothing. Really, he could stick his hand in his right back pocket and check for testicular cancer of his left nut. Awesome!

At least half of U-N-I shows promise of being TTS worthy so we’ll be keeping an eye out for more saggery from them.

Our pals at Satchel of Gravel have put together a brilliant contest. They want to see men looking like lesbians rocking streetwear. You know what that means!

You can apply the tight pants you’ve had on ice since last week, get one of your fashion posse members to take a flick and submit it to SOG to entertain the world wide interweb.

If your jeans aren’t too tight, make the jump and read more at SOG.

Hey Satchel of Gravel we got two lesbians for you right here…

Pull out your lavender stretch pants folks! Our beloved Cool Kids will be strutting their tight saggy stuff at the S.O.B.’s club in April. If you don’t have any tight pants to sag that night, the river isn’t too far so you can soak your denim there and shrink them until your eyes shoot out like a surprised cartoon character.

He may not sagging but Chubby Checker likes his jeans shrink wrapped to his balls like the rest of you tight saggers out there. As an added bonus, did you peep that his denim is only a few washes away from acid? You fakies babies should be near orgasm over that! Time to hit the vintage crap stores and rustle you up some over-priced trash.

This guy on the right must have drilled some designer’s sister to have been punished in this way. Look how the pants hug his calves and ankles as the top part sags with such gravitational love. I want my tight sag to be like this when it grows up.

Shout to Mally Jesus for this one. Mally, we salute you with our Seven (said with a lisp) jeans at half-sag.