Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined a pair of pants that I would refer to as “perfect”. When I first saw these jeans on the Life Files website, I almost crapped my pants. It’s a good thing I didn’t because my jeans are so tight now that nothing would be able to escape. More after the jump…Psyche! I just wanted to say “more after the jump”.

Notice how the calves are so tight that you’d think someone made a pair of jeans out of a blood pressure taking device. The top part sags just right as to confuse onlookers as to whether or not they’re loose or tight. Sheer genius. If that wasn’t enough, there’s suspenders that you could probably swap out with a pair of neon pink, polka dot ones to go with a corny Spike Lee wannabee biker’s cap.

I really hope this has Lycra in it because I’m running out right now to get a pair in a size -13

To make it a little easier to get your TTS fix, you can now get here by going to thetightsag.com or just tightsag.com. The wordpress url will still work but now you have three sizes to choose from just like your favorite pair of limited Japanese selvage!

Found this flick over at globalgrind.com under the heading of “Will Somebody Stop This Madness?”

This is the perfect example of how a tight sag should be done. First of all, you’ve gotta have a belt and if it’s so tight that it starts to flip that’s even better. A tight, short hoody also works well especially if you have tight, colored underwear crammed into your ass crack. That technique makes your tight sag pop and lets the world know that GAP Kids is the new spot to cop heat.

April Fools.